Sometimes things happen in life that make you feel as if you’re not worthy of your dreams. Maybe you really wanted that high paying corporate gig, but couldn’t imagine why they would hire you over all the other more qualified applicants, so you didn’t bother to apply. Perhaps you were recently passed over for a promotion, which created a lot of self-doubt about your career abilities. Or you just went out on what you thought was a fun date with a great guy, who then never contacted you afterwards.
We’ve all felt like we’re not good enough at some point or another, and when things don’t go our way those feelings of unworthiness can intensify.
It’s pretty easy to get dragged down by our thoughts and have moments of self-doubt, especially when things don’t go as we want them to. But if we don’t do something to stop those thoughts from accumulating, they can hold us back from living the life we desire and deserve.
The key to letting those feelings take control is to not only nip the negative emotions in the bud as they’re occurring, but to also prevent them from happening in the first place.
Try incorporating the following tools anytime you start to doubt yourself and watch your confidence soar.
- Silence your inner critic. You don’t have to listen to everything your mind is telling you or ride every thought train you have into the station, you’re the one in charge. Be the conductor of your own mind and stop those thoughts right in their tracks. When you discover yourself veering off course, shout (in your mind): stop! Firmly tell yourself that you’re not going down that path again and then redirect your thoughts to ones that better serve you.
- Make a list of every time in your life that you succeeded and did something worthy of praise. As you write those moments down, relive them: feel the positive emotions that you felt when they happened and know that if you’ve done it before, you can do it again.
- Quit comparing yourself to others, life isn’t a race and we all get to the same finish line eventually. Live your life at your own pace and know that what you see on social media isn’t exactly reality. Most people share their highlights, not their day-to-day lives or their challenges. Don’t compare your bad days with someone else’s great one.
- Celebrate all of your wins. No matter how small, take the time to acknowledge your successes as soon as they occur: brag to your friends, treat yourself with a gift or some me time, and know that the more you honor your achievements the more of them you’ll have.
- Choose your tribe wisely. Find positive, encouraging confidants and let them tell you that it’s all in your head (because it is) and that you’re killing it. And when you’re feeling that you’re not good enough, talk to them about how you can work on specific issues (like prepping for that meeting with your boss or what to wear to your next job interview).